i swear to god, my face is lopsided or something. i'm not joking. every pair of sunglasses i wear doesn't... fit on my face right. i mean, they stay on and all, but they always feel like their leaning to one side. resting on one cheek more than the other. it's the weirdest thing. also kind of annoying. i hope it isn't as noticeable to other people as it feels to me, cause that would look really stupid.

i had class tonight, and i didn't feel like doing shit. i sat in English class and was practically catatonic. at one point, my teacher called out my name and asked me a question because he knew i wasn't paying attention. which annoyed me because this isn't high school, and if i want to pay to sit in class and zone out then it's my right.

not that i want to make a habit of that. i just didn't feel good tonight! my stomach was all weirded out.

i need to go to bed now. so so tired.

i got an 87% on my mid-term, which i can live with. would have done better if he had went over more things in the class, but ah well. i'm such a grade-pusher now; i actually had a dream a few nights ago that i resubmitted my essay, and to my horror i discovered he gave me an even LOWER grade than i had previously gotten--an 82%!!!! oh no's! i feel like Willow from Buffy.

today was okay... the work day zoomed by and i feel like i spent the majority of it in my own little world... had stuff on my mind i guess. plus i was tired. i went to Noah's during lunch, had a wrap and some sweet tea. i lurve their sweet tea. and i did some of the tutorial on RCT3 tonight. lookin' good so far!

now i must go. i still have to study for my test tomorrow... and eat some dinner. i'm thinking some egg noodles?

this will be quick because i'm in the middle of working on my outline/gathering references... and then when that's all done, i have to read a short story in my book and take my mid-term using Lockdown Browser!

James and i watched the Princess Bride last night... he liked it better this time. : ) i just knew he would. who couldn't love that film? i forgot how fond of it i was actually.

we also watched some Buffy, but only a couple episodes. i'm so behind on that show. i'm also REALLY behind on United States of Tara. i told myself once i got my lap top i'd get caught up on that... and i haven't yet, but i WILL, i promise!

i also downloaded Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 today, so he and i could play in each others parks. fun, fun. what an interesting life i lead!!

uh oh, Mom's singing the karaoke... time to break out the ole headphones.

sometimes, at work, when i'm bored/need a break (usually the latter), i sign onto Project Gutenburg and read. lately i've been wrapped up in Hellen Keller's Autobiography: the Story of my Life (and her letters). it spurred me on to sign up for their proofreading team, who proofreads the articles/books before being uploaded. i thought it would be a good, productive past-time AND something i enjoy doing AND something useful for my education.

i've also decided to do my final research paper on "Violence in the Media: Is it the cause for Societal Violence?" it was the best choice out of all the other topics given, and i think most people in the class are doing the Gay and Lesbian one. James said he'd help me! he's full of all these interesting facts like a Manhunt Lawsuit and Stanley Kubricks refusal to release A Clockwork Orange due to a rape.

i want some grapes.

gr... i kept trying to post an entry earlier, but blogspot was being a bully.

i FINALLY got my new laptop! oh it's so so so pretty. it's all orange and shit, so i named it Clementine! pictures soon, i promise.

today i had a headache which didn't hinder me or anything, but it was one of those that is always just right behind your eyes and temples, thudding softly like a lone drum. by 5, i was done. only i wasn't done, because then i had the pleasure of going to a two hour 1033 class and listen to my teachless teacher drone on about solving and factoring rational equations with complex fractions... yeaaaah...

i skipped out about 20 minutes early, went down to the lab, did my shit, and took off like a bat from hell. came home, turned this shit on, and now i'm currently taking comfort in South Park. i've been watching it more lately. some of the episodes really aren't up to par, though some make me chuckle quite a lot.

i'm in the process of transferring all of my music/files from my OLD computer to my new one... which is always fun. TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that doesn't make sense since it's still Thursday, but you get it!

have i ever mentioned my hatred for driving? seriously. i've only ever driven in Florida, so i don't know if it's just because there are so many snow birds, but why was everyone and their cousin driving 25mph on Nova Road this morning? it's not like i'm in any kind of rush to get to work either, but at least they have bathrooms and the internet there!

James and i watched Stardust last night - eh. didn't hate it, didn't love it. oh i guess it was fun enough. some parts were really good, others i could have done without. this was a film recommended by Christina, so i went into it with an open mind. oh well, can't win them all!

had a grilled chicken wrap from Noah's for lunch today... trying to get back on my diet. i guess i should probably stop cramming food into my maw, then.

i semi-straightened up my room! there are nice little piles of laundry in there now, but it's better that they are least separated rather than strewn all over there in a disorganized mess, right?

twas a boring weekend indeed. first and foremost, i didn't make much of a dent on the to-do lists, though i did read a whole lot. i finished one book and am nearly halfway through 2 others! wooo-HOOO!

i read After the Quake--one of Murakami's book of short stories--and it was pretty good. not my favorite, but good. specifically the last story (Honey Pie) which i absolutely loved. i can very much relate to that "empty" feeling from reading one of his stories, though. one would think that would discourage me from wanting to read his stuff, but it doesn't. it's hard to describe.

currently, i'm wrapped up in two other books. The Elephant Vanishes (his other book o' shorts), and Diary of a Wimpy Kid, which is surprisingly entertaining so far.

yesterday was really boring: i went to Barnes and Noble's to read in their comfy chairs (i NEED to buy one of those when i get my own place) but they were really busy and all the chairs, barring the hard wooden ones, were taken! i stayed about an hour, then caved in and bought the books so i could read them in the comfort of my own bed.

i also went to Target to peruse the furniture aisle, but all i ended up buying was a bag of Hershey's egg chocolates. i'm craving chocolate something fierce recently--especially warm chocolate. like a freshly baked brownie drizzled with caramel and topped with some vanilla ice cream... mmmm...

ps: i'm currently strongly disliking this place right now.

my new “thing” recently has been organizing everything to death. i wonder if my sudden gusto for this is because i’m sick of everything in my life being the same and BOOORING. which would be ironic, wouldn’t it?

first of all, i’m sick of my bedroom. in fact i hate it a lot. i hate the colors, i hate the furniture, i hate how shitty the lighting is, i hate i hate i hate. unfortunately, there isn’t very much i can do with it—like i can’t change the color of the walls and that fucking celestial theme—but i can add a lot of Ashley touches, so that at least my mood won’t always plummet when i spend time in there. being a homebody, i think this is important for my overall well-being, don’t you? i think it’s important that i really claim it as mine. so when i walk in it, i can look around and say “this is Ashley’s room.”

i’ve been living here going on four years and i’m just now concerning myself with this. LE SIGH.

this weekend will be productive--as long as i can get off my ass and actually do shit. i need to focus! i'm pretty organized. i made five to-do lists today, each categorized as follows: websites, films, books, things to buy, and a general to do list.

Mom was telling me about something she was watching on the Discovery Channel last night. in the 1970’s these people raised a lion cub as a domesticated animal (this was before all the crazy laws that stopped allowing that!) i think they lived in London! they kept him until he was about a year old, and treated him like a normal pet when he was still a cub - taking him for rides in the car and stuff like that. sounds pretty cute. well, when he got to be about a year old, they realized he was far too big and wild, plus it was much too costly for them to keep caring for him, so they decided to let him go in a jungle somewhere in Africa. naturally it was very hard, and sad, but they knew it was for the best.

about a year after they released him, they decided to go back to the spot where they let him go and see if he’d still be there and stuff. so they went back and called his name. not only did he show up but he was REALLY happy to see them. the way Mom was describing it to me reminded me of Simon when we come home after work—all jumping around excited, licking them, bumping his head against them, and even putting his big paws on their shoulders as a way of “hugging” (oww!). it sounds so amazing, and really sweet. you would think that after a year it would be different, he’d be all wild again and his instincts would keep him away from them, but not so.

it reminded me of this bit in Out of Africa i read. Karen adopts a young bush buck antelope named Lulu, and when Lulu gets to be about a year old or so (fully grown), she leaves on her own accord. well, once she leaves, it's like a turning point. she never comes back to the household like it is her own anymore, nor does she allow anyone to come near her. but she does come and stand at the edge of the forest/beginning of the yard morning after morning, and stares at the house. just stands there and stares. Karen would stand there and look back at her. if she tried to approach her Lulu would run off, so they would each just stand there at a respectable distance looking at one another. eventually, Lulu starts bringing her little fawns along for the visits, and the fawns come up to Karen and let her pet them. i think this went on for several generations, even after Lulu dies. her fawns still would come to Karen’s house, and bring their young, and etc. it was really, really neat. nature is so awesome. everyone reading this should go out and get a copy of Out of Africa. an amazing book indeed!!

anyway, i think the documentary Mom was watching is based on a book, so i added it to my “TO READ” list.: )

today was long, and i'm beat so this will be quick-like. i had a loooong day at work. LOOONG. why so long you might ask? partly due to getting a shitty nights sleep, but also knowing i wasn't fully prepared for my 1033 mid-term! i think i did okay, though... i hope. if not, well, he's dropping our lowest test score, so that means i have to get A's from here on in!

more than that, though. it's been so busy at the office, and people drive me crazy!

i had class tonight, and i kind of zoned out in English. now i can't even remember what went on there tonight. oh yeah, every one was debating and i couldn't be bothered to chime in. i like open discussions in class, it beats a droning teacher, but sometimes i'm just not in the mood, you know? i stayed though, to do peer review and fill out my evaluation form.

i didn't come home straight away, either. i stopped at Barnes & Noble for some me-time. i got a balsamic chicken sandwhich and coffee and started reading After the Quake. i got about halfway. it's pretty good so far, really.

i got home about 30 minutes ago, and now i plan on writing Christina back and heading off to bed. there aren't enough hours in the day.

OH. i'm wearing my green cardigan today! woo! i look damn cute. DAMN cute.

i just caught a glimpse of my cleavage in my car door, and i couldn't help but think... damn girl, nice rack.

happy post day!! i got some of the things i ordered from cutxpaste, as follows:


the "spring six owl print" by Matt Cipov! the owl really lives up to that scholarly image, doesn't it? doesn't it?! it does. and he looks peaceful. which is why he is going on the wall beside my Airside calendar.

some really cool picture(s). they threw this in with my order. i think it's pretty nifty, so i'll find a special place for it in my room... somewhere. i like the phrase "well enough"

last but not least, my cat-a-rama embroidery patterns by "sublime stitchings"! i'm pretty excited about these. they could make an excellent christmas present for someone, or i may be selfish and keep them for myself. that's the beauty of these things.

i discovered this website this afternoon (i was on truthorficion.com again--it's pretty much the only entertainting web site i can view from work), about easter eggs. and no, not the little round ones that come in pastel colours. easter eggs as in... well, i'll just paste urban dictionaries definition;

Easter Eggs are hidden links or files coded into software or websites. In the end, they are useless gags that programmers include for fun.

anyway, i'm probably the only one who wasn't aware that there is a website (www.eeggs.com) dedicated to finding all these "easter eggs"... WHY IS THAT? why am i always the last to know?! anyway, i couldn't view THAT website while at work, so i checked it out when i got home and it kept me occupied for some time. for too much time, i'm afraid. now it's nearly midnight and i'm only half way done with mid-term preparation. damn you. on that note, i should finish off my studies and head to bed. goodnight!

i finished Kafka on the Shore today, and it is... interesting. anything by Murakami is certainly that. i did like it a lot, though. it's just, you finish the book with so many questions still unanswered. i dunno. the ending was sad, and it made me well up a bit--i loved the part when Kafka goes through the entrance gate with the two soldiers in the forest, it's like everything after that point is really dream-like and hazy. actually i loved everything that took place when Kafka goes into the forest. it bordered on going over my head, but i don't think you're supposed to fully understand everything, so you kind of have to accept everything as is and not try to use your head too much (like Kafka!)

the book did have it's faults, though. the way it went back and forth every other chapter between two story-lines was unsettling. by far my favorite character was Nakata, and i wished that his story-line had been the main focus of the novel.

Murakami always writes characters that you can't help but love, though. it's like none of his characters are anything like anyone i've ever met, but wish i did. or i wish i was more like them.

moving on!

i've been watching a lot of Buffy the vampire lately! BUFFY! James and i watched... let's see... SIX episodes in the last four days! we're plunging through Season 3. so far i still prefer Season 2. i still can't believe i love Buffy as much as i do. me, into a vampire show!

well, i was supposed to have a mid-term online tonight, but the teach post-poned it due to some "issues"... so i think i'll make some tea and finish up Cleopatra. night!

so what am i doing?

i just got home a couple hours ago. Ross with Misty was really good! she's really nice. and funny. it's such a relief to know that a female that could actually click with me lives close-ish. i can't begin to explain how relieved that makes me.

plus, i bought four shirts (one i'll have to return--THE ONE SHIRT i didn't bother to try on ended up looking awful. aint that somethin!) and a pair of green and black flip flops with palm trees! score! later, we went to Quiznos for lunch--i can't believe how desolate Palm Coast is. christ. all i saw was one Quiznos and 2 McDonalds. after that, we went down to this place near a bridge and a river, that had walkways zig-zagged through some Floridian styled woods (in other words: sameish), but it was nice anyway. the weather was perfect and we walked and talked about shit. it wasn't awkward at all, either. i think we hit it off well!

only time can tell with these things, however.

i'm also even happier right now, because i got this email from my english I professor:


Ashley:

You should think about a career in "teaching". You have the personality and I see a better future for teachers...think about it. You could complete everything here at Daytona State College now...even get a Masters.

it made me grin like a crazy person, reading that. he didn't even know that i was going for teaching, so it's an amazing compliment. he had written this to me after we had some email correspondance. i had written this descriptive passage, and he had given me a B, which i didn't think i deserved. (Point Dexter alert!) i emailed him, complaining nicely that i didn't think his grade was very fair. he responded telling me that i'm basically the best writer in his class, and he's grading me on a higher level than his other students! this made me feel good (only kind of. if you could see some of the other papers... i'm baffled most even got into college, honestly).

he's had me reworking my descriptive essay, and i turned in the new and improved copy yesterday through email, so i'm anxiously awaiting his response. i hope i get one soon.

it took me forever to figure things out around here, but i finally did it!

i don't expect anyone to read this except James. i want to write more, but i never have the initiative, and i thought i needed a change of scenary from livejournal. so here i am!

i don't have much to report today. i just finished dinner (quiche and macaroni salad), and i'm looking forward to the next couple days off. Misty messaged me about an hour ago and asked if i wanted to go shopping tomorrow up in Palm Coast, and i told her i would if i could get my car sorted out (needs oil changed). i don't really want to drive all the way to Palm Coast without checking that shit out.

i was using white out today, and it's this weird instantly dry kind of stuff. it's like... not even liquid. i can't explain it exactly, but it's a lot better than that other stuff, except it peels off all the time, so it's really annoying.

i'll end this with a couple of pictures.

my poinsetta.

Mom's poinsetta. mine is obviously better.