i like to post entries on the last day of the month. i don't know why.
most recently i've been acting a little more distanced than usual. and by distanced i mean, from pretty much everyone, even James. i just get like that sometimes. usually it's because i have such an obsessive personality and when i make my mind up that i like something and really dig it, i go all crazy and spend every waking moment that i'm not in insurance land doing it! and recently, i've discovered the wonders of the zine scene, and i'm wondering why it took me 25 years to discover how awesome it is. and usually the term 'awesome' is overused, but in this case it fits perfectly!
so an amazing idea for my own personal zine struck me just out of nowhere one night. it seems that's how all good ideas come to me. just out of nowhere, like they catch me off guard. so i think that's my subconscious telling me not to over-think everything, because i'm usually at my best when i'm all haphazard and shit.
anyway, my zine is going to be a little book of short stories based LOOSELY on life experiences of yours truly! the fun part is that the theme is going to be fairytale. so that means it will have princesses, fanciful language, and all that good junk. and it's been really fun writing it. i also found someone who is going to work with me on making it pretty [illustrations and whatnot], and i bought STOLEN SHARPIE REVOLUTION which promises to be very helpful for a zine-amateur such as myself.
i am very excited. i'm hoping a distro will pick it up, but i can't put all my hopes into that, because let's face it, it's not overly likely. but i take comfort in knowing that there are at least social zine websites out there filled with people that are doing the same thing as me: making zines, wanting to trade zines, discuss zines etc. on wemakezines.ning.com i've met a few really interesting people already, so i can't wait to finish it now.
other than zines, that's really all that's going on with me! HOLLA.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
happy 3 years to James and me! three years, man, and i still call him my best friend. he wrote me this cute ass poem. that sounds so high school, but it was simple and sweet. not all lame or anything. also got some Bibio and a duck bookmark and a biography and a wind-up of Hey Jude.
James, if you're reading this. love ya, baby. you're the cutest little disabled boy on the face of the earth. since i was 15 i wanted to jump your bones, and now, ten years later, i HAVE jumped your bones, and i will again the next time i see you. i hope i make you a happier man too.
James, if you're reading this. love ya, baby. you're the cutest little disabled boy on the face of the earth. since i was 15 i wanted to jump your bones, and now, ten years later, i HAVE jumped your bones, and i will again the next time i see you. i hope i make you a happier man too.
been busy, but not crazy. just pleasantly busy. trying to get back into things that make me happier. picking up books more, spending less time on the internets, writing, even playing video games a little. [hey, it counts!] also been reading a lot of literature assigned by my English teacher and finally starting to see the beauty in poetry.
the past few days i have been pondering over whether or not i should make a zine, or specifically, what i'd put in it if i did. i haven't decided yet. i want to write fiction loosely based on experiences, sort of. but maybe i'd just be better off writing more from the heart? i don't know. see, i think most zines are more personal than just fiction stories. like blogging only a lot less obnoxious. i don't know yet. an acquaintance of mine, Katie, reads and reviews zines [her website with zine catalog - www.parcellpress.com], and i've been talking to her a little about the whole thing. her interest in it is what reminded me that it's always been something i wanted to do too, actually. i bought a zine on her website, too. it should be nice. a lot of them do look really nice. it's hard not be inspired by them. they are heartfelt but not sappy, personal but not tmi, nostalgic but not ridiculous.
(Katie's latest zine)
there's something about making a zine that really appeals to me. the whole idea of having this finished project, something that i created, i just think it would make me feel really good. and make me feel like my life isn't such a waste, either. but we'll see. more about zines when things develop!
had an ethical school-related issue today, but already resolved it, spoke with the professor. the ball is in her court, so hopefully i did the right thing. i think i did...
the past few days i have been pondering over whether or not i should make a zine, or specifically, what i'd put in it if i did. i haven't decided yet. i want to write fiction loosely based on experiences, sort of. but maybe i'd just be better off writing more from the heart? i don't know. see, i think most zines are more personal than just fiction stories. like blogging only a lot less obnoxious. i don't know yet. an acquaintance of mine, Katie, reads and reviews zines [her website with zine catalog - www.parcellpress.com], and i've been talking to her a little about the whole thing. her interest in it is what reminded me that it's always been something i wanted to do too, actually. i bought a zine on her website, too. it should be nice. a lot of them do look really nice. it's hard not be inspired by them. they are heartfelt but not sappy, personal but not tmi, nostalgic but not ridiculous.
(Katie's latest zine)
there's something about making a zine that really appeals to me. the whole idea of having this finished project, something that i created, i just think it would make me feel really good. and make me feel like my life isn't such a waste, either. but we'll see. more about zines when things develop!
had an ethical school-related issue today, but already resolved it, spoke with the professor. the ball is in her court, so hopefully i did the right thing. i think i did...
Monday, July 20, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
every once in awhile, something on etsy catches my eye and i simply can't say no. i already spend too much money on that website as it is, but i know if i put my foot down i could say no and be over it. yet every once in awhile... i find the PERFECT ITEM and there is no stopping myself.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21573896
i don't care if i'm about to lose my job. i must have that. yeah, i already have a lovely truckette bag that has little birdies on it, but right now i could give a fuck less. i NEED that bag. not want. NEED.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21573896
i don't care if i'm about to lose my job. i must have that. yeah, i already have a lovely truckette bag that has little birdies on it, but right now i could give a fuck less. i NEED that bag. not want. NEED.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
was reading A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami just now, and this one part, which i liked a lot, really struck a vivid image in my head-
each women has a drawer marked "beautiful" stuffed full of all sorts of meaningless junk. that's my specialty. i pull out all those pieces of junk one by one, dust them off, and find some kind of meaning in them. that's all that sex appeal really is, i think. but so what? what's that good for? there's nowhere to go from there short of stopping being myself.
just wanted to share before i forgot. i always find little things in stuff i read or see, and i mean to use this blog to document it--christ, that's why i opened this blog to begin with--anyway, i always forget!
i have a little tummy ache [damn that McFlurry], so i'm going to continue laying here and reading.
each women has a drawer marked "beautiful" stuffed full of all sorts of meaningless junk. that's my specialty. i pull out all those pieces of junk one by one, dust them off, and find some kind of meaning in them. that's all that sex appeal really is, i think. but so what? what's that good for? there's nowhere to go from there short of stopping being myself.
just wanted to share before i forgot. i always find little things in stuff i read or see, and i mean to use this blog to document it--christ, that's why i opened this blog to begin with--anyway, i always forget!
i have a little tummy ache [damn that McFlurry], so i'm going to continue laying here and reading.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
left American History a little early tonight... i swear i get nothing from the mans lectures. he aint just boring, he's irrelevant. i'm much better off going over the chapter on my own while taking notes. blah. i'm actually sort of looking forward to writing this History paper, though [for once!]. i've decided to do it on hippie communes of the 1960's! yeah! luckily, i found enough references to do it, and if i need more material, well, i'll just bullshit. i'm good at that.
work has been stressful. things aren't going too well. i'm trying my hardest not to think about it though, so that means i don't want to write about it much here. i'll probably feel more comfortable dealing with it after it's over. so yeah!
i feel like i haven't had a decent conversation with my boyfriend in like a decade. between school, vacation, homework, work, stress, and gigs we've been missing each other a lot. so we are due a hot n' heavy date this weekend.
i spent some time last night reading old email conversations between TJ and me, and man did it make me miss him. he was the awesome big brother i never had. i don't know who is more fucked up, him or Laura. i also can't even decide which of the two understood me better, but i think they both did in their own little ways. man, sometimes the past is depressing. at least that time in my life is. i was in transit.
uh.... i can't think of anything else to write. i haven't done anything lately that isn't school and work related, so there you go. i'd bore myself going into grave detail over this shit, so i'm going to have a cookie instead.
work has been stressful. things aren't going too well. i'm trying my hardest not to think about it though, so that means i don't want to write about it much here. i'll probably feel more comfortable dealing with it after it's over. so yeah!
i feel like i haven't had a decent conversation with my boyfriend in like a decade. between school, vacation, homework, work, stress, and gigs we've been missing each other a lot. so we are due a hot n' heavy date this weekend.
i spent some time last night reading old email conversations between TJ and me, and man did it make me miss him. he was the awesome big brother i never had. i don't know who is more fucked up, him or Laura. i also can't even decide which of the two understood me better, but i think they both did in their own little ways. man, sometimes the past is depressing. at least that time in my life is. i was in transit.
uh.... i can't think of anything else to write. i haven't done anything lately that isn't school and work related, so there you go. i'd bore myself going into grave detail over this shit, so i'm going to have a cookie instead.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
MASSACHUSETTS
Thursday - we left the house around 5:30; got to the airport a little before 6. Bruce dropped Mom and me off. there was a slight hicupp at check-in due to some flight schedule changes, but nothing a bit of griping didn't fix. actually it made it better. we managed to get on the same flight to Atlanta, and get on the standby list which got us to Rhode Island roughly around noon, 3 hours before schedule. we played cards on the plane, and i only felt slightly nauseous. Shannon picked us up in Providence, and we drove to Kelly Maranda's house. visited with her and Cathy for a bit, they rolled a joint, then we had some lunch [i had a clam chowder bread bowl and some absolutely delicious onion rings]. took a few pics, then went on our merry way. drove to Auntie Sharlene's, greeted Missy, Auntie, Uncle Tim, and Matt. drove to Wrights for dinner. ate only a bit of chicken [unfortunately i was way too full to eat much]. talked about MJ's death a bit; perused the gift shop, but only came out with a little notepad, an eco friendly storage bag, and some key toppers. drove to Auntie Sharons trailer, greeted her and Uncle Kevin. stayed for a bit.
Friday - woke up around 9:30ish. got showered and dressed, went to breakfast at Crackerbarrel's with Shannon, Mom, and the Kiely's. had a veggie skillet and a blueberry muffin. drove around with Shannon and Mom and spent the day sight seeing. visited Hayward Landing, drove past Mimere and Pepe's, visited great grandparents and "the little fisherman's" graves; stopped by the hair salon Auntie Denise works at to say hello. visited the old farmhouse; the Ebels; drove through Douglas, and the village in Northbridge. met up with Matt and Missy for dinner at Brian's. had pasta primavera [it was HUGE]. Shannon and Missy had a lobster. drove to Auntie Sharon's trailer for karaoke. sang with Mom "I'll Fly Away", sang "White Trash Wedding" by the Dixie Chicks with Jenny, sang RESPECT with Auntie, sang "Goodbye Earl" by myself. had a weak screw driver. drove back to Auntie's, sat on the couch with Missy, Jenn, and Matt and talked. went out for late night donuts. went to bed around midnight.
Saturday - woke up around 10am. had a donut for breakfast. showered, dressed, waited around for Shannon to get ready, then Shannon and i drove and picked up Jackie and Vickie. hugs ensued. drove to the theater to see "The Hangover." i bought some nachos and bottled water. watched "The Hangover". it sucked, i was the only one who thought so. after the movie, we drove to Papa Ginos. ordered two large cheese pizza's to split. drove by a strip club called Sweaty Betty's. Uncle Roland met up with us. drove back to Uncle Rollies, Shannon smoked, then we all took pictures. left Uncle Rolands, and it was pissing rain. struggled to get in the car without getting drenched. dropped the girls off back at their house, then Shannon and i drove back to Aunties. got soaked on the way in. visited with the Kiely's. was going to have a bonfire but the rain spoiled it. instead watched TV in the living room, then Missy, Shannon, Matt, and i sat and talked. devised a plan for the following day. went to bed upstairs with Shannon. put on Scary Movie 2 til i fell asleep.
Sunday - woken up by Shannon around 8. took a prompt shower, dressed in my dressy pants and a purple shirt. after everyone was ready, followed Matt to Sudberry, MA to the Wayside Inn. got there a little after 11am. greeted Mimere and Gramps, who were totally shocked to see us, as well as the rest of the family. hugged Dan, Ben, Dan's girlfriend, Kayla, Nick, Erika, Auntie Sheryl. took all the professional family pictures. lots and lots of them. everyone looked spiffy. went inside around noon for anniversary dinner. sat with Shannon, Matt, Missy, Jenn, and Phil. had clam chowder, a biscuit, turkey, and a strawberry thing for dessert. was pretty delish. had a couple mamosa's or whatever they're called. [orange juice and champagne]. left before 2; drove back to Auntie's for the afterparty. got stinking drunk on vodka and cranberry juice. FUN. ate a shitload: meatballs, baked ziti, and a shit load of cookies. spilled ziti and Mom's meatballs all over my jeans in a drunken mess. rolled my eyes as Mimere announced she was going to get "SHIT FACED." got annoyed when Uncle Kevin told Auntie "all the kids are getting drunk" and was given a talking-two. visited with my cousins most of the day. watched Mim get teared up looking at her scrap book. people started leaving around 9. sat around with my cousins for a bit longer, then went to bed around 10. so tired.
Monday - woke up around 11. showered and dressed, then Shannon and i drove down to Auntie Sheryl's for lunch with Mim, Gramps, Mom, Bruce, Dan, Ben, and Ashley. had Harry's pizza for lunch YUM. only had a slice or 2, wasn't overly hungry. hung around with them til about 3. watched Auntie Sheryl's dog have a seizure. scary stuff. hugged everyone goodbye, then drove back to Auntie Sharlene's for a couple hours. laid around for a bit, started packing all my shit, then Shannon and i drove to Debbie's with the aid of a GPS. got there around 5pm. hugged the shit out of Deb and Brian. sat on their deck, had some nachos, then an Italian sausage and some steak tips for dinner. stayed and visited only for a couple hours; took pictures. left around 8pm. had to be up at 3am to catch a plane.
Tuesday - woke up around 2:30. showered, then woke Shannon. dressed, finished last minute packing, left the house a little after 4am. drove to Providence airport in record time. said bye to Shannon, had a helluva stressful time managing to get to my plane on time. almost didn't make it. by the time i got to the terminal the plane had already left the gate, and had to sprint across the runway. from then on had an uneventful, stress-free flight back to Daytona. got back to my home a little after noon. unpacked; did laundry, comforted the dog, had some pizza, slept on and off.
TODAY - worked til 5. went to class at 6; first History class. a little boring, but easy. discovered i have to write a history paper on anything i want from 1865-present. got home a couple hours ago. been cleaning and comforting Simon further.
soup time!
Thursday - we left the house around 5:30; got to the airport a little before 6. Bruce dropped Mom and me off. there was a slight hicupp at check-in due to some flight schedule changes, but nothing a bit of griping didn't fix. actually it made it better. we managed to get on the same flight to Atlanta, and get on the standby list which got us to Rhode Island roughly around noon, 3 hours before schedule. we played cards on the plane, and i only felt slightly nauseous. Shannon picked us up in Providence, and we drove to Kelly Maranda's house. visited with her and Cathy for a bit, they rolled a joint, then we had some lunch [i had a clam chowder bread bowl and some absolutely delicious onion rings]. took a few pics, then went on our merry way. drove to Auntie Sharlene's, greeted Missy, Auntie, Uncle Tim, and Matt. drove to Wrights for dinner. ate only a bit of chicken [unfortunately i was way too full to eat much]. talked about MJ's death a bit; perused the gift shop, but only came out with a little notepad, an eco friendly storage bag, and some key toppers. drove to Auntie Sharons trailer, greeted her and Uncle Kevin. stayed for a bit.
Friday - woke up around 9:30ish. got showered and dressed, went to breakfast at Crackerbarrel's with Shannon, Mom, and the Kiely's. had a veggie skillet and a blueberry muffin. drove around with Shannon and Mom and spent the day sight seeing. visited Hayward Landing, drove past Mimere and Pepe's, visited great grandparents and "the little fisherman's" graves; stopped by the hair salon Auntie Denise works at to say hello. visited the old farmhouse; the Ebels; drove through Douglas, and the village in Northbridge. met up with Matt and Missy for dinner at Brian's. had pasta primavera [it was HUGE]. Shannon and Missy had a lobster. drove to Auntie Sharon's trailer for karaoke. sang with Mom "I'll Fly Away", sang "White Trash Wedding" by the Dixie Chicks with Jenny, sang RESPECT with Auntie, sang "Goodbye Earl" by myself. had a weak screw driver. drove back to Auntie's, sat on the couch with Missy, Jenn, and Matt and talked. went out for late night donuts. went to bed around midnight.
Saturday - woke up around 10am. had a donut for breakfast. showered, dressed, waited around for Shannon to get ready, then Shannon and i drove and picked up Jackie and Vickie. hugs ensued. drove to the theater to see "The Hangover." i bought some nachos and bottled water. watched "The Hangover". it sucked, i was the only one who thought so. after the movie, we drove to Papa Ginos. ordered two large cheese pizza's to split. drove by a strip club called Sweaty Betty's. Uncle Roland met up with us. drove back to Uncle Rollies, Shannon smoked, then we all took pictures. left Uncle Rolands, and it was pissing rain. struggled to get in the car without getting drenched. dropped the girls off back at their house, then Shannon and i drove back to Aunties. got soaked on the way in. visited with the Kiely's. was going to have a bonfire but the rain spoiled it. instead watched TV in the living room, then Missy, Shannon, Matt, and i sat and talked. devised a plan for the following day. went to bed upstairs with Shannon. put on Scary Movie 2 til i fell asleep.
Sunday - woken up by Shannon around 8. took a prompt shower, dressed in my dressy pants and a purple shirt. after everyone was ready, followed Matt to Sudberry, MA to the Wayside Inn. got there a little after 11am. greeted Mimere and Gramps, who were totally shocked to see us, as well as the rest of the family. hugged Dan, Ben, Dan's girlfriend, Kayla, Nick, Erika, Auntie Sheryl. took all the professional family pictures. lots and lots of them. everyone looked spiffy. went inside around noon for anniversary dinner. sat with Shannon, Matt, Missy, Jenn, and Phil. had clam chowder, a biscuit, turkey, and a strawberry thing for dessert. was pretty delish. had a couple mamosa's or whatever they're called. [orange juice and champagne]. left before 2; drove back to Auntie's for the afterparty. got stinking drunk on vodka and cranberry juice. FUN. ate a shitload: meatballs, baked ziti, and a shit load of cookies. spilled ziti and Mom's meatballs all over my jeans in a drunken mess. rolled my eyes as Mimere announced she was going to get "SHIT FACED." got annoyed when Uncle Kevin told Auntie "all the kids are getting drunk" and was given a talking-two. visited with my cousins most of the day. watched Mim get teared up looking at her scrap book. people started leaving around 9. sat around with my cousins for a bit longer, then went to bed around 10. so tired.
Monday - woke up around 11. showered and dressed, then Shannon and i drove down to Auntie Sheryl's for lunch with Mim, Gramps, Mom, Bruce, Dan, Ben, and Ashley. had Harry's pizza for lunch YUM. only had a slice or 2, wasn't overly hungry. hung around with them til about 3. watched Auntie Sheryl's dog have a seizure. scary stuff. hugged everyone goodbye, then drove back to Auntie Sharlene's for a couple hours. laid around for a bit, started packing all my shit, then Shannon and i drove to Debbie's with the aid of a GPS. got there around 5pm. hugged the shit out of Deb and Brian. sat on their deck, had some nachos, then an Italian sausage and some steak tips for dinner. stayed and visited only for a couple hours; took pictures. left around 8pm. had to be up at 3am to catch a plane.
Tuesday - woke up around 2:30. showered, then woke Shannon. dressed, finished last minute packing, left the house a little after 4am. drove to Providence airport in record time. said bye to Shannon, had a helluva stressful time managing to get to my plane on time. almost didn't make it. by the time i got to the terminal the plane had already left the gate, and had to sprint across the runway. from then on had an uneventful, stress-free flight back to Daytona. got back to my home a little after noon. unpacked; did laundry, comforted the dog, had some pizza, slept on and off.
TODAY - worked til 5. went to class at 6; first History class. a little boring, but easy. discovered i have to write a history paper on anything i want from 1865-present. got home a couple hours ago. been cleaning and comforting Simon further.
soup time!
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