this side of the blue

this weekend was actually really, really nice, considering i didn't really do anything. for one thing, the boyfriend and i have been as horny as rabbits on viagra and i've been a naughty, naughty little girl. THAT was fun.

i'm actually really tired tonight, and i need to go to bed very soon, but i wanted to write in here, do some homework, and straighten my room first. i'll only be another hour or so.

on the flip side of this whole pent up sexual frustration, i've also been incredibly lonely. which, you know, may be WHY i've been going off like a roman candle and all. Ashley craves contact with another human being. it's been far too long, now. i don't know what i'll do if i have to wait too much longer. i try, i mean i really try, to throw myself into my books and my studies and my music or films or something of that nature to get my mind off it. reading seems to be the best escape for me. i need to make another zine. i think that will make me feel happy.

god knows there's plenty enough going on to keep me busy. i need to start doing some early xmas shopping, i need to save money for new car tires, and a hotel for Shannon's wedding. god, i hate money. it always makes me feel blue as hell. [Holden Caufield].

so, my Psychology of Adjustment class. eh. she keeps forcing us to talk about our feelings and shit. i don't like it. i don't like talking about things that make me stressed. i always try my hardest to shove that shit to the back of my mind, because worrying is a waste of time! it's like the whole purpose of the class is for us to adjust and recognize our behavior patterns that affect us negatively, but all it's doing is making me remember i actually have problems, and i like to play the denial game.

right, so i'm going to go do my maths homework now.